What does it take for a woman to become a writer? To devote herself to her craft? To turn inward and pull the words out of the murky depths that only she can plumb?
This question has haunted me all of my adult life.
Really enjoying your newsletter! I spend gobs and gobs of time alone nowadays, but I paid for this luxury with 25+ years of homeschooling my kids. Now that the youngest two are in college, I find I don’t want to leave the house or see anyone. I’m a self published novelist, I’ve done some online graduate courses and I have a daily online writing group, and I also study Japanese to prepare to eventually go to Japan to do research for a future novel. During all those years of homeschooling I wrote absolutely nothing after having attempted it when the kids were babies. Basically this is my season to write. I couldn’t have done it any earlier. I think you’re going to hit on the right recipe because you’re doing the right things, asking the right questions.
Anne, longtime reader, first-time commenter here. This really spoke to me and I'm so grateful to you for writing it. I wonder if the balance of feeling anchored vs. free is ever quite right when a woman wants to write (but then again, my kids are young and my parents are frail, so I am always grasping at solitude and space). Thanks for writing this! Honestly wish it were the start of a whole book on the topic.
Oh, so very much to think about here. I admire your candor. I have had similar experiences when longing for deep solitude (because I didn't have it), and when it came, I was a little lost. But not for long. When you experience it on a sustained basis, a new rhythm emerges, and you soon find you can't be without it. You've been traveling, so you aren't really grounded in space the way you would be if "at home", I presume. If Maslow had it right, physiological and safety needs come before love and belonging, esteem, and self-actualization. Whatever the case, you are certainly following Rilke's advice when he told his young poet to live the questions. "You are so young; you stand before beginnings...have patience with everything that remains unresolved in your heart." You know the rest. What an exciting, if at times unsettling, adventure you are having!
Really enjoying your newsletter! I spend gobs and gobs of time alone nowadays, but I paid for this luxury with 25+ years of homeschooling my kids. Now that the youngest two are in college, I find I don’t want to leave the house or see anyone. I’m a self published novelist, I’ve done some online graduate courses and I have a daily online writing group, and I also study Japanese to prepare to eventually go to Japan to do research for a future novel. During all those years of homeschooling I wrote absolutely nothing after having attempted it when the kids were babies. Basically this is my season to write. I couldn’t have done it any earlier. I think you’re going to hit on the right recipe because you’re doing the right things, asking the right questions.
You are an amazing woman
Welcome to Inverness! The most beautiful city in the world 🏴
Anne, longtime reader, first-time commenter here. This really spoke to me and I'm so grateful to you for writing it. I wonder if the balance of feeling anchored vs. free is ever quite right when a woman wants to write (but then again, my kids are young and my parents are frail, so I am always grasping at solitude and space). Thanks for writing this! Honestly wish it were the start of a whole book on the topic.
Oh, so very much to think about here. I admire your candor. I have had similar experiences when longing for deep solitude (because I didn't have it), and when it came, I was a little lost. But not for long. When you experience it on a sustained basis, a new rhythm emerges, and you soon find you can't be without it. You've been traveling, so you aren't really grounded in space the way you would be if "at home", I presume. If Maslow had it right, physiological and safety needs come before love and belonging, esteem, and self-actualization. Whatever the case, you are certainly following Rilke's advice when he told his young poet to live the questions. "You are so young; you stand before beginnings...have patience with everything that remains unresolved in your heart." You know the rest. What an exciting, if at times unsettling, adventure you are having!